First dates have a bad rep. They’re thought of as an awkward obstacle; you just have to get past them to move on, hopefully, to more engaging dates in the future.
But that’s not dating’s fault; it’s yours.
If you think first dates are weird or always a dud, then you’re doing them wrong.
I’ve been on plenty of first dates where I left feeling like I genuinely had fun. And since I was enjoying the date, my true self shone through, and so did the other person’s.
So while first dates are definitely filled with a lot of nerves, there are ways to avoid them being awkward and a dud.
Make sure you avoid these common mistakes people make on first dates:
Talking Too Much About Yourself
There’s nothing worse than hearing someone ramble on about growing up in rural Montana, especially when it’s your first time meeting them.
As much as you like talking about yourself, so does the other person. In fact, it shows that you’re interested in your date when you talk about their life.
So while you’re dying to thoroughly explain how cow-tipping was a favorite past-time in your town, don’t. Try to keep the conversation at 50/50 in terms of talking about yourself and asking your date about themselves.
Being On Your Phone Too Much
Or, you know, being on your phone at all.
If there’s a possibility that you’ll need to answer an email or call, let your date know from the get-go. If not, turn your phone on silent and take it off the table. It’s rude to scroll through your phone or take calls while you’re on a date. That person carved out time from their day to get to know you. Don’t waste it.
Besides, a date is an hour, tops. You have more significant problems to deal with if you can’t go that long without checking your phone.
Picking a Mundane Date Idea and Expecting It To Be Amazing
Imagine this: your task is to get to know someone. You decide to meet up at your most exhausted time: after work. You pick a location: a dimly lit confine with loud music that you can barely hear over. You’re attempting to balance on tiny chairs that are too high for your feet to touch the ground. All while trying to meet the expectations of having a “great” time.
Sounds horrible, right? Then why is it that first dates always happen at bars?
Why not try to plan a fun date? A friend of mine recently went on a first date at a wakeboarding park. A WAKEBOARDING PARK. She’d never been to one. Not only did she get to know that guy in a fun setting, but she also got to try something new.
So opt for a date you’d actually enjoy doing. Try something new. Skip the bars.
Treating The Date Like An Interview
Generic questions make for a generic date.
Sure, it’s nice to get to know where someone’s from, what they do for work, etc. But does that really tell you about the kind of person they are?
Opt for questions that are a bit deeper. If you’re stuck on what that could be, try these:
- “Do you like the work you do?”
- “Where’s your favorite place you’ve traveled to?”
- “What did you want to do for work when you were a kid?”
- “Are you close with your siblings?”
Or make things more fun:
- “If you could invite anyone in the world to dinner, who would it be?”
- “What would constitute a “perfect” day for you?”
- “What do you feel most grateful for in life?”
Being A Negative Ned/Nancy
I doubt anyone enjoys being around someone that’s always negative; even more so when it happens on a first date.
Sometimes, we have shitty days: you got scolded at work, your friend is going through a hard time, or you had a long, stressful week. Whatever your reason may be, I implore you not to let it affect your mood. Bringing up a lousy day at work is one thing; letting it affect the entire date is another.
First dates are all about the impressions we leave on the other person. If you’re typically not a pessimist, then don’t come off as one.
Acting Rude To The Waiter
One of the most telling things about a person’s real character is how they treat service people.
My personal belief in life is that no one is above or below anyone else. If I’m on a date with someone that treats our waiter rudely, they’ve lost my respect.
In general, don’t be an asshole. More specifically, don’t be an asshole on your first date. People pick up on that stuff real quick.
Next time you’re on a first date, avoid these common mistakes. Try to plan something fun, genuinely get to know one another and be a good person.
First dates don’t have to suck; they can actually be a lot of fun.
Source – PS I Love You
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